Parents Role In The College Application Process

The role of parents in the college application process has long been debated. Applying to college is the next big step towards independence for all our children, and In the wake of this week’s revelation of the actions that some parents have taken to guarantee their children admission to some of this country’s most selective colleges, the role of parents in the process begs to be revisited.

Applying to college is a stressful time for students, but it can also be a difficult time for the parents who generally fail into three categories:

 the micro-managing parent(s) - Living vicariously through their children, these parents control every step of the application process, as if it was their own. Among the many ways they are involved include influencing which colleges their child applies to, editing the college essay, procuring letters of recommendation from celebrities, and even selecting the roommate. They will spend the necessary money to hire whomever can guarantee their child is admitted to their college of choice, often an Ivy League school. Admissions officers can easily spot these manipulations and this has been known to work against the student's chances of gaining admission. 

• the supportive parent(s) - These parents are conscience of the process, appreciate how much things have changed since they went to college, have an understanding of when and how the student would like them to help them out with their applications, and encourage their child to be the one communicating with the schools. They offer guidance, allow the student to make their own choices, and might hire a professional college advisor to help the student stay on track with the many steps involved with the application process, especially the deadlines.

 the absent parent(s) - These parents assume that their child is mature enough to know how to handle all the ins and outs of college application process, and that it is inherently the guidance counselors' responsibility to assist their child. Whatever the reason for the absence, this group will hopefully identify someone that the student can turn to for assistance.

it's easy enough to identify which group all parents should strive to belong to, and naturally, there are exceptions to every rule and many parents can and do fall between these groups. It is also very common for friction to exist between the student and parents creating a difficult situation and making it almost impossible for the latter to lend a hand, even when they want to.

The college application playing field has historically been tilted in favor of those students with the financial means to have tutors, take prep courses, and pay the tuitions many elite schools currently demand. In turn, students with legacy or a recognized talent in a sport often have an added bonus in the admission process. Lastly, Early Decision (ED) - a binding application option - favors those students who need little to no financial aid.

Community-based organizations (CBO), College Board and school districts have supplied applicants in the lower socio-economic range with free college application assistance, in addition to fee waivers for SAT/ACT tests and application fees, all in an effort to give these students the same opportunities.

The college application process has become a highly competitive process that is in constant flux. Planning should begin freshman year with the establishment of a high school course plan, assuring that the student will graduate with the best GPA/class rank based on their academic abilities, and culminates senior year. Ideally, parents will have been involved throughout the course of these four years of high school and the college application process. We all want only the best for our children, but if we really want to help them we should let them be admitted to college based on their own academic merits and not on what money can buy.

College Application Timeline - November 2019

During this first week of November many high school students are preparing their applications for the Early Decision (ED)Early Action (EA) and Priority applications due dates. November 1st was the first of these deadlines with others as late as November 10th. In order to be prepared to submit their applications on time, students need to have begun their college application process fairly early to have the following points ready to submit a strong application:

• Complete the Common App - Complete and proof the entire application carefully, and do the FERPA section. If your high school is using Naviance, make sure that you have linked it to your Common App. Note: Am noticing this year that students are leaving off information, especially extra curriculars, in the Activities Section of their Common App because they don’t think they count. Check here to see which activities do count. You’d be pleasantly surprised.

• Complete the college essayDo not underestimate its importance. The primary objective of the personal statement is to provide insight on the student's character through a story, something that cannot be seen elsewhere in the application, so make sure to write an essay that does just that. A strong essay resembles more a journal entry or letter home vs the in-class English essay.

•  Supplemental essays, short answer and optional questions. Always double check if the schools on your list require these. Often much shorter, they are not necessarily easier to write and there might be several that must respond to very specific prompts. Do not trivialize their importance and give yourself ample time to write them well because they are taken seriously. 

•  Finalize the remaining applications and be prepared to submit them. Proof all your applications carefully, looking for misspelled names, incorrect phone numbers or an essay that didn't upload correctly: unnecessary errors are a poor reflection on the student. Note: Yes, it's good to apply before your due date.

•  Send your SAT/ACT score reports - Unless the schools you are applying to will accept your scores as they appear on the official transcript, you must send your score reports. Don't forget that you get four FREE score reports each time you register to take the SAT or ACT, so make sur to take advantage of that. Fee waiversto either take the SAT/ACT or to pay for an application fee, are available to students that are eligible. Check with the guidance department for eligibility requirements. 

• AP Score Reports - Check your colleges' requirements, but if you scored 3-5 on an AP exam consider also sending those along for consideration. A high score could act as a tie breaker in the evaluation process and/or allow the student to be excused from an introductory class.  

• Letters of recommendation. Colleges vary in the number of recommendations they want, but always make sure that your recommendors are listed on your Naviance/Common App accounts allowing them to upload their letters. The number of recommendations needed for each college can be found under the Recommendors and FERPA sections on the Common App.

 Keep your guidance counselor updated. Always keep your guidance counselor aware of any small change in your college applications. If you've decided to apply Early Decision instead of Early Action, or have decided to not apply to a particular school altogether, please show them the courtesy of keeping them informed.  

•  The 2018-2019 FAFSA can now be filled out and submitted earlier so learn when these deadlines are. As often is the case, the sooner the better when it comes to submitting your FAFSA.

•  Check the status of your applications regularly for confirmation that the colleges have received your application and all supporting documentations. An application that is missing any key document will not be evaluated. It is the student's responsibility to keep track of the status of all of his/her applications and follow through on what hasn't yet arrived.

• Keep up those grades. Whether applying early or not, now is not the time to let those grades slip! This applies to all high school seniors applying to college, even if your applications are submitted. Colleges reserve the right to rescind an offer if there has been a serious drop in grades or if inappropriate behavior is found on social media.  

One of the top application mistakes is missing deadlines!!